Saturday, 17 July 2010

Ghurka Or Burka ?




Nice to see that the French Parliament have banned the practice of Muslim women covering their faces with a Ghurka.  Not before time - nobody should be forced to sit on a Muslim woman's face, least of all these brave Nepalese warriors. If they really want to hide their faces a black bin liner would be more than adequate.

Tuesday, 22 June 2010

First Round Fervour At Fenton

The Fenton Chess Club Internal Championship kicked off last night, accompanied by the sound of South African Vuvuzela horns, or Baboon Bassoons as they're otherwise called.

The night wasn't without it's upsets as John Amison, a once strong player but now in terminal decline, laboured to a draw against promising young club junior player, Stuart Hull.  This was reminiscent of England's game against Algeria with John expected to win at a canter, but it was young Stuart who provided all of the sparkle and John left the club with the sound of the fans boos ringing in his ears.

The other theory is that John deliberately tried not to win in order to avoid a strong player in Round 2. This is blatant cheating in anybody's book and could provoke an investigation by Martyn Harris, the Judge Jeffries of Newcastle. A public hanging could be the ultimate outcome.

The major upset of the round was John White's win over Robet West, a player graded no less than 51 points higher than him.

Elsewhere, new member and relative novice, Shane Benton gave Tony Holdford a very tough game before succumbing to Tony's superior experience in the endgame. Shane is looking like being a very welcome addition to one of the club's teams next season.

Paula Yates and Jasper Carrott seemed more interested in the sandwiches than the chess but Jasper showed slightly more interest and finished Paula off while she was arguing with me over the last pork pie.

Ernie and I had hard fought wins over Derek Shitehead and Joe Orsolics repectively, both games lasting until the end of the evening.

Karl Walklate and Phil Grocott were keener than everybody else and played their match last week with Karl coming out on top.

The final game of the round was the All Taleban match between Dusty Bin Laden and Hamid Shabani. Unfortunately Dusty performed his usual trick and dropped out an hour before play was due to start, giving his opponent a win by default.

Neal Davies and Peter Tideswell both took half point byes in this round.

So Tony Holdford, the bookies favourite, has taken an early lead in the competition by virtue of his 1st Round win and the half point bye he has already been given in Round 6.

Sunday, 23 May 2010

A Historic Quadruple

The Special One completed a historic quadruple at the weekend, adding the European Champions League title to the Serie 'A' title, the Coppa Italia and the North Staffs Chess League Div 4 title.  I also managed to find time to turn out for the 'D' team at Cheddleton on Friday night and managed a win on Board 2 with my new Diamond Formation.

There is now intense speculation that I will be moving to El Estadio Santiago Bernabeu next season as the San Siro is not expected to be able to cope with the increased membership of Fenton Chess Club.

Tuesday, 18 May 2010

Captain Crap Cocks It Up

Last night's final match of the season for the 'C' Team ended in disappointment and our first loss of the season by 3-1 against a strong Cheddleton 'E' side.

It all started so well with a win by Jasper Carrott on Board 1 in about 30 minutes.  This should have been followed by a win for me but I managed a colossal cock up to lose to Megan Moruzzi on Board 4.  I overlooked winning a Bishop and instead made a move that immediately lost the game.  I'd like to say that I was distracted by her micro skirt but, on this occasion, she wasn't wearing one so that excuse is out of the window.  Had I been concentrating we'd have been 2-0 up and retained our unbeaten record so nobody's to blame except me.

Richard was in a good position on Board 3 but miscalculated at a crucial point and found himself a Knight down. Despite having some pressure he was unable to sustain it and the inevitable loss followed.

Ming's game on Board 2 against Colin Abell was his usual mixture of a useless opening followed by playing his way back into the game, eventually ending up with a Rook and 2 Knights against 2 Rooks. Unfortunately his opponent also had 2 very strong Queen side pawns on QN5 and QR6.  Ming the looked to have mating possibilities at one point but his opponent exchanged one of his Rooks for a Knight, leaving himself a Knight down but with 2 unstoppable Queen side pawns, one of which he then promoted. Once again, the inevitable loss ensued.

It was very disappointing to lose our unbeaten record in our final game but this should not detract from our overall performance this season. 

My thanks to everybody who has turned out for the 'C' Team this season and made us worthy champions.

Tuesday, 11 May 2010

The 'D' Team Clinch the Division 5 Title

Well done to Mark Whitby's 'D'Team on clinching the Division 5 title last night. Needing only 1 point to guarantee them at least a share of the title, and 2 points to win it outright, they defeated Cheddleton 'F', one of the only 2 teams who could catch them, b y 2.5 - 1.5. This puts the 'D' Team 3 points clear of their final opponents, Cheddleton 'H', and in an unassailable position at the top of the league.

A Royal Pasting At The Royal British Legion

The 'A' Team finished the season with a flourish last night by beating Meir 'A' by 3.5 - 1.5 at the Royal British Legion Club. The 'A' Team are now unbeaten in their last 4 matches of the season with 3 wins and a draw.

Early Grandmaster draws by Mr T and Jasper Carrott got the evening off to a level start.  John Amison returned to form with a good win over Clive Ferry to put us into a 2-1 lead.  Danny looked to be heading for defeat until his opponent blundered a piece away, leaving Danny with a straightforward win and putting Fenton into a match winning lead of 3-1.  My opponent and I agreed a draw shortly afterwards to give Fenton a very good 3.5 - 1.5 win.

This win pushes us 5 points clear of Holmes Chapel Knights and Holmes Chapel Rooks although, unfortunately, it does not improve our league position. 

However, this was a very encouraging finish to the season and makes one wonder where we might have finished had we been able to field a full strength side throughout the year.

Saturday, 8 May 2010

'C' Team Remain Unbeaten

The 'C' team were away to a very strong Cheddleton team in their penultimate match of the season last night. Emperor Ming did something he never usually does - he was the first to finish with a Grandmaster draw on Board 2 after about only 30 minutes. The Magician, playing on Board 4, found himself in a winning position against Megan Moruzzi with the advantage of a Rook and Pawn for a Bishop but then got distracted by his opponents micro skirt and returned both Rook and Pawn. Fortunately he pulled himself together and managed to win a Bishop and won the game shortly after, putting us into a 1.5 - 0.5 lead. Ernie Wilkinson, playing on Board 3, offered his opponent a draw on  3 seperate occasions and each time his opponent declined. Ernie then managed to engineer the exchange of a Bishop, Queen and Rook on the Queen side, leaving his opponent with a Queen's Rook Pawn that he was unable to defend. Ernie went on to play an excellent endgame to win the game and put us into a match winning position of 2.5 - 0.5. Things were a bit different on Board 1 where Jasper Carrott was in a losing position. He was down by a Bishop for Rook and Pawn and his opponent also had 3 connected central passed pawns on the 4th, 5th and 6th ranks. All looked lost until his opponent inexplicably left his Rook en prise. Rob promptly whipped it off and found himself with the advantage of a Bishop for 2 Pawns. At this point, with the match won, he agreed a draw, giving us an excellent 3-1 win.

The 'C' Team are still unbeaten this season, with only one match to play. This is a home match against last night's opponents on Monday 17th May and our objective, having already won the league, must be to finish the season unbeaten.